Thursdays are so therapeutic, you know? For example, today I’ve got a peeve that has been bugging me for several years, but I finally had the perfect example to use to explain what ticks me off and why.
You see, it really irritates me when someone asks for an opinion they don’t really want. We’ve all had this happen right? Someone asks for an opinion, you assume they legitimately want one, so you carefully construct a written/verbal response that may not agree with what they said/did/want, but tactfully–so as not to hurt their feelings.
A prime example of this? The other day my mother calls to ask about buying a computer. I’ve bought a couple of them in my time and have done some research, so I figured she legitimately wanted an opinion on what specs she needed/wanted for what she planned to do with the computer (which is not much besides email and occasional web surfing). I asked her what she planned to use it for, (just to be sure) and gave her some specs to consider. That’s when she mentioned that she’s already set on a computer that’s expensive and over powered, and she’s unwilling to consider anything else. Which is fine, it’s her money, but if all she wanted was reaffirmation that she’s right, why didn’t she just ask for that to start with?
So in closing, don’t ask for an opinion if you don’t really want it. Just save everyone the trouble and be honest and say you want everyone to tell you that you are right/awesome/etc. Now, wasn’t that just so much easier for everyone?
I am totally with you. I try to remind myself not to be hypocritical on this front, if I ask for an opinion, I better seriously consider the input or keep my mouth shut from the get go and do what I want.
I always think, there’s the people who are going to be snotty and the ones who are genuinely going to critique something in the interest of improving the craft–you’ll encounter the first whether you want to or not, and the others will remain silent unless asked. 🙂 I’d like to get better, so I’d rather have an honest (polite) critic than have everyone just blow smoke up my skirt. 😉
Yes! Also, don’t ask for an opinion from a friend or relative if it is going to be used to batter them with if the purchase turns sour.
Amen to that!