Stressed!

So we’re moving. It’s hard to believe after 5 and a half years of living in this house that we’re just going to leave it. I’ve/we’ve put so much blood, sweat, and tears into this thing that to leave it is pretty hard. I know that some of you can relate because you have trouble parting with your handmade clothes. This is similar, except 5x harder because we have so many memories here and it’s the first home we’d ever bought. It’s the only home my eldest can remember, and believe me, Irish isn’t excited about our new home. I’m not usually one to get so attached to a material thing, but this process of trying to sell it and buy a replacement has been hard on me…on all of us, but I can really only speak for myself. The thought of new neighbors, new schools, everything just has me overwhelmed right now.

We close next week on the new house, even though this one hasn’t sold yet. It will be nice for being able to move slowly and determine whether or not we need everything we had here and what can be loaded up for donation, but sometimes a clean break is easier too. And I can’t say enough how grateful I am to family for making it possible to go ahead on buying the new house while this one sells, because without them it wouldn’t be possible. I have a hard time letting others help, so it was an internal battle, but ultimately I know that it’s the right thing to do, even though my stubborn pride fought against it.

I will be so glad to close this chapter of our lives, mostly because the stress has had us all sniping at each other. I’m tired of being a “commuter widow”. I’m tired of worrying about the amount of money going out vs coming in. I’m tired of not seeing my husband nearly as often as I used to, and hate that it’s too far for me to drop in and see him or catch lunch with him. I’m tired of fighting with Irish, when he’s not the problem (or at least not all of it). I’m tired of constantly worrying that someone will want to see the house and having to rush to get it presentable. I’m tired of telling Irish that he has to keep all of his toys put away, even though he worked very hard on setting up his farm/legos/etc. and seeing how that upsets him.

I will be sad to see this house go, but at the same time, thankful. It’ll mean getting our lives back. And while it’s going to be bittersweet, I’m ready.